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If there's one thing in the world the food industry is dead set against, it's allowing you to actually maintain some level of control over what you eat. See, they have this whole warehouse full of whatever they bought last week when they were drunk that they need to get rid of -- and they will do so by feeding it all to you. And it doesn't matter how many pesky "lists of ingredients" and consumer protections stand between you and them.
#6. The Secret Ingredient: Wood
You know what's awesome? Newspaper. Or, to be precise, the lack thereof. The Internet and other electric media have all but eaten up classic print media, with the circulations of almost all papers on the wane. Say, do you ever wonder what they do with all that surplus wood pulp?
"But Cracked," you inquire, "what does this have to do with food ingredients?"
For the purposes of this article, you're kind of an idiot.
And we look at you squarely in the eye, then slowly bring our gaze upon the half-eaten bagel in your hand.
Oh, shit ...
The Horror:
What do they do with all the cellulose wood pulp? They hide it behind a bullshit name and make you eat it, that's what.
The best part of waking up, is wood pulp in your face!
And everybody's doing it. Aunt Jemima's pancake syrup? Cellulose. Pillsbury Pastry Puffs? Cellulose. Kraft Bagel-Fuls? Fast-food cheese? Sara Lee's breakfast bowls? Cellulose, cellulose, goddamn cellulose.
Et tu, Hot Pockets?
It turns out that cellulose can provide texture to processed foods, so food companies have taken to happily using it as a replacement for such unnecessary and inconveniently expensive ingredients as flour and oil. As the 30 percent cheaper cellulose is edible and non-poisonous, the FDA has no interest for restricting its use -- or, for that matter, the maximum amount of it that food companies can use in a product. It is pretty much everywhere, and even organic foods are no salvation -- after all, cellulose used to be wood and can therefore be called organic, at least to an extent.
But the worst thing about cellulose is not that it's everywhere. The worst thing is that it is not food at all. Cellulose is, unlike the actual, normal food items you think you're paying for, completely indigestible by human beings, and it has no nutritional value to speak of. If a product contains enough of it, you can literally get more nutrients from licking the sweet, sweet fingerprints off its wrapper.
That loaf and the chopping block have an equal wood content.
#5. Zombie Orange Juice
Quick, name the most healthy drink your nearest store has to offer. You said orange juice, didn't you? It's what everybody makes you drink when you get sick. Hell, that shit must be like medicine or something. And the labels are always about health benefits -- the cartons scream "100 percent natural!", "Not from concentrate!" and "No added sugar!"
"Less than four thumbs per gallon!"
And why not believe them? When it comes to making the stuff, orange juice isn't sausage. You take oranges, you squeeze oranges, you put the result in a carton, with or without pulp. End of story, beginning of deliciousness.
But what if we told you that "freshly squeezed" juice of yours can very well be a year old, and has been subjected to stuff that would make the Re-Animator puke?
Tropicana's bottling room. Not pictured: Anything orange.
The Horror:
Ever wonder why every carton of natural, healthy, 100 percent, not-from-concentrate orange juice manages to taste exactly the same, yet ever so slightly different depending on the brand, despite containing no additives or preservatives whatsoever?
The process indeed starts with the oranges being squeezed, but that's the first and last normal step in the process. The juice is then immediately sealed in giant holding tanks and all the oxygen is removed. That allows the liquid to keep without spoiling for up to a year. That's why they can distribute it year-round, even when oranges aren't in season.
Thanks to science, we can enjoy screwdrivers from Christmas to the 4th of July.
There is just one downside to the process (from the manufacturers' point of view, that is) -- it removes all the taste from the liquid. So, now they're stuck with vats of extremely vintage watery fruit muck that tastes of paper and little else. What's a poor giant beverage company to do? Why, they re-flavor that shit with a carefully constructed mix of chemicals called a flavor pack, which are manufactured by the same fragrance companies that formulate CK One and other perfumes. Then they bottle the orange scented paper water and sell it to you.
And, thanks to a loophole in regulations, they often don't even bother mentioning the flavor pack chemicals in the list of ingredients. Hear that low moan from the kitchen? That's the Minute Maid you bought yesterday. It knows you know.
#4. Ammonia-Infused Hamburger
Any restaurant that serves hamburger goes out of its way to reassure you how pure and natural it is. Restaurant chains like McDonald's ("All our burgers are made from 100 percent beef, supplied by farms accredited by nationally recognized farm assurance schemes") and Taco Bell ("Like all U.S. beef, our 100 percent premium beef is USDA inspected, then passes our 20 quality checkpoints") happily vouch for the authenticity of their animal bits. Their testaments to the healthiness and fullness of their meat read out like they were talking about freaking filet mignon.
Above: Gourmet as balls.
And aside from the rare E.coli outbreak, the meat is clean. It's how they get it clean that's unsettling.
The Horror:
Ammonia. You know, the harsh chemical they use in fertilizers and oven cleaners? It kills E.coli really well. So, they invented a process where they pass the hamburger through a pipe where it is doused in ammonia gas. And you probably never heard about it, other than those times that batches of meat stink of ammonia so bad that the buyer returns it.
If your Big Mac ever tastes like pee, this is why.
The ammonia process is an invention of a single company called Beef Products Inc., which originally developed it as a way to use the absolute cheapest parts of the animal, instead of that silly "prime cuts" stuff the competitors were offering (and the restaurant chains swear we're still getting). Consequently, Beef Products Inc. has pretty much cornered the burger patty market in the U.S. to the point that 70 percent of all burger patties out there are made by them. Thanks, ammonia!
#3. Fake Berries
Imagine a blueberry muffin.
One muffin, you greedy bastards.
Even with your freshly gained knowledge that there may or may not be some cellulose in the cake mix, it's pretty impossible not to start salivating at the thought. This is largely because of the berries themselves. What's better -- they're so very, very healthy that it's almost wrong for them to taste so good.
We could taste delicious if we wanted to. Stupid show-off berries.
Everything is better with blueberries -- that's why they put them in so many foods. Now that we think of it, there sure seems to be a lot of blueberries in a lot of products. You'd think we'd see more blueberry fields around ...
The Horror:
... not that it would do any good, as the number of blueberries you've eaten within the last year that have actually come from such a field is likely pretty close to zero.
We can almost hear the muffins mocking us.
Studies of products that supposedly contain blueberries indicate that many of them didn't originate in nature. All those dangly and chewy and juicy bits of berry are completely artificial, made with different combinations of corn syrup and a little chemist's set worth of food colorings and other chemicals with a whole bunch of numbers and letters in their names.
They do a damn good job of faking it, too -- you need a chemist's set of your own to be able to call bullshit. You can sort of tell them from the ingredient lists, too, if you know what to look for, although the manufacturers tend to camouflage them under bullshit terms like "blueberry flakes" or "blueberry crunchlets."
Nothing says "nature" like petrochemical-derived food coloring.
There are a number of major differences between the real thing and the Abomination Blueberry: The fake blueberries have the advantages of a longer shelf life and, of course, being cheaper to produce. But they have absolutely none of the health benefits and nutrients of the real thing. This, of course, doesn't stop the manufacturers from riding the Blueberry Health Train all the way to the bank, sticking pictures of fresh berries and other bullshit cues all over the product packaging.
Now, here's some good news: The law does require the manufacturers to put the whole artificial thing out there for the customers. The bad news, however, is that they have gotten around this, too. First up, the Kellogg's Mini-Wheats way:
This is somewhat recognizable. They just stick a picture of the berries there, while not actually bothering to conceal the fact that the actual cereal looks like it's made of cardboard and Smurf paste.
A bunch of Betty Crocker products and Target muffins use the second route, which brings the cheat level even further by actually containing an unspecified amount of real berries. This way they can legally advertise natural flavors while substituting the vast majority of berries with the artificial ones.
All but three of these are made of plastic.
Or, you can just take the "we don't give a fuck anymore" route, as evidenced by General Mills' Total Blueberry Pomegranate cereal. The whole selling point of the product is that it contains a bucketload of blueberries and pomegranates, and the package boasts all the buzzwords the marketing department has been able to dream up:
In reality, not only are the blueberries fake, but also they've forged the freaking pomegranates as well.
#2. "Free Range" Chickens That Are Crammed Into a Giant Room
Buying "free range" eggs is one of the easiest ways to feel good as a consumer -- they are at least as readily available as "normal," mass produced eggs from those horrible giant chicken prisons Big Egg maintains. Hell, they even cost pretty much the same. There's literally no reason not to buy free range even though, now that we think about it, we're not actually sure what that means. But the animals must live in pretty good conditions. In fact, let's buy our meat and poultry free range, too!
Fresh air, green grass, plenty of cocks ... free range chickens have it good.
Well, according to law, the definition of "free range" is that chickens raised for their meat "have access to the outside." OK ... so that's not quite as free as we assumed, and it appears to only apply to chickens raised for their meat. But at least they still have some freedom, what with the outside and all that.
The Horror:
Words have power, and "free range" in its original sense means unfenced and unrestrained. That makes it a powerful phrase that, no matter how smart we are, conjures subconscious images of freedom hens, riding tiny little freedom horses out on the plains, wearing hen-sized cowboy hats and leaving a happy little trail of delicious freedom eggs in their wake. There may be mandolin music.
Although we have it on good authority that chickens prefer Jay-Z.
Although we have it on good authority that chickens prefer Jay-Z.
But the reality is there are absolutely no regulations whatsoever for the use of the term "free range" on anything other than chickens raised for their meat. Your Snickers bar could be free range for all the government cares.
The industry knows this full well and happily makes us lap up the free range myth, even though in reality a free range hen lives in pretty much the same prison as a battery cage hen -- except its whole life takes place in the prison shower, rather than a cell.
Look, they're free!
Awareness of the free range myth is slowly increasing, but although a manufacturer that has been pushing his luck a bit too much does get jailed every once in a while, that doesn't do much to the overall phenomenon. In fact, Europe is set to ban egg production in cage systems come 2012. Guess what the replacement is going to be?
#1. Bullshit Health Claims
Nuts that reduce risk of heart disease. Yogurts that improve digestion and keep you from getting sick. Baby food that saves your kid from atopic dermatitis, whatever the hell that may be. Products like that are everywhere these days, and we do have to admit it's hard to see any drawbacks to them. We eat yogurt anyway, so why not make it good for our tummy while we're at it?
"This brand treats syphilis and diabetes."
It's just that we can't keep wondering where all these magic groceries suddenly appeared from. One day your peanuts were peanuts, and then, all of a sudden, it was all coronary disease this and reduce heart attack risks that. Maybe Food Science just had a really, really productive field day a while back?
Or, of course, it could be that we're being fooled yet again.
We don't know if we could handle Mr. Peanut lying to us.
The Horror:
The vast majority of product health claims use somewhat older technology than most of us realize: the ancient art of bullshitting. The "health effects" of wonder yogurts and most other products with supposed medical-level health benefits can be debunked completely, thoroughly and easily. So why are they able to keep marketing this stuff?
It all started in 2002, when many ordinary foods found themselves suddenly gaining surprising, hitherto unseen superpowers. This is when the FDA introduced us to a new category of pre-approved product claims. It was called "qualified health claims," and it was basically just another list of marketing bullshit the company can use if their product meets certain qualifications. This was nothing new. What was new, however, was that the list said no consensus for the scientific evidence for the product's health claims was needed.
"That pepper will keep you hard for hours, and eggplant works in lieu of chemotherapy."
Since "no consensus needed" is law-talk for "pay a dude in a lab coat enough to say your product is magic and we'll take his word for it no matter what everyone else says," companies immediately went apeshit. Suddenly, everyone had a respected scientist or six in their corner, and the papers they published enabled basically whatever they wanted to use in their marketing and packaging.
We're not saying that none of the products boasting health properties work. There are plenty out there, but they're kind of difficult to find under the constant stream of bullshit supplementary claims. Come on, food industry -- just tell us the truth. Don't you realize that we'll just eat it anyway? Shit, people still buy cigarettes, don't they?
原文閱讀：The 6 Most Horrifying Lies The Food Industry is Feeding You
參考譯文（僅供參考）：
如(ru)果(guo)在(zai)這(zhe)世(shi)界(jie)上(shang)，食(shi)品(pin)產(chan)業(ye)會(hui)拚(pin)死(si)反(fan)對(dui)什(shen)麼(me)的(de)話(hua)，那(na)就(jiu)是(shi)允(yun)許(xu)你(ni)對(dui)你(ni)吃(chi)的(de)東(dong)西(xi)實(shi)際(ji)保(bao)有(you)某(mou)種(zhong)程(cheng)度(du)的(de)掌(zhang)控(kong)。看(kan)，他(ta)們(men)有(you)這(zhe)一(yi)整(zheng)倉(cang)庫(ku)上(shang)周(zhou)喝(he)醉(zui)時(shi)買(mai)來(lai)的(de)玩(wan)意(yi)兒(er)要(yao)處(chu)理(li)掉(diao)——他們的解決之道就是把這些東西全都喂給你。在你和他們之間有多少討厭的“配料表”和消費者保護條款擋駕並不重要。
#6.秘密配料：木頭
你(ni)知(zhi)道(dao)可(ke)怕(pa)的(de)是(shi)什(shen)麼(me)嗎(ma)？報(bao)紙(zhi)。或(huo)者(zhe)，準(zhun)確(que)點(dian)說(shuo)，缺(que)少(shao)報(bao)紙(zhi)。互(hu)聯(lian)網(wang)和(he)其(qi)他(ta)電(dian)子(zi)媒(mei)體(ti)已(yi)經(jing)吃(chi)到(dao)了(le)全(quan)部(bu)傳(chuan)統(tong)印(yin)刷(shua)媒(mei)體(ti)，這(zhe)使(shi)幾(ji)乎(hu)所(suo)有(you)報(bao)紙(zhi)的(de)流(liu)通(tong)都(dou)在(zai)衰(shuai)落(luo)。比(bi)如(ru)說(shuo)，你(ni)就(jiu)從(cong)來(lai)沒(mei)奇(qi)怪(guai)過(guo)他(ta)們(men)拿(na)那(na)些(xie)多(duo)餘(yu)的(de)木(mu)漿(jiang)幹(gan)嘛(ma)了(le)嗎(ma)？
“但這真瘋狂，”你會問，“這東西和食品配料有什麼關係？”
恐怖：
他們拿所有那些纖維素木漿都幹什麼了？他們把它藏在一個瞎編的名字後麵，讓你吃下去了，就這樣。
覺醒的最佳素材，就是直接伸到你鼻子前的木漿。
人ren人ren都dou在zai這zhe麼me做zuo。傑jie米mi瑪ma大da嬸shen的de煎jian餅bing糖tang漿jiang？纖xian維wei素su。品pin食shi樂le公gong司si的de奶nai酥su？纖xian維wei素su。卡ka夫fu百bai吉ji福fu？快kuai餐can奶nai酪lao？莎sha莉li集ji團tuan的de早zao餐can碗wan？纖xian維wei素su。纖xian維wei素su。上shang帝di詛zu咒zhou的de纖xian維wei素su。
yuanlai，xianweisunengweijiagongguodeshipintigongzhigan，suoyishipingongsiyijingyukuaidecaiyongtazuoweibubiyaohebufangbiandeangguiyuanliaodetidaipin，rumianfenheshiyongyou。yinweibianyi30%的纖維素可食用而且無毒，（美國）食品藥品監管局沒興趣限製它的使用——或者，就這一點而言，沒限製食品公司可在一種產品中使用它的最大劑量。它確實到處都是。就連有機食品也不是拯救之道——因為纖維素曾經是木頭，所以可以稱為“有機的”，至少在一定程度上是這麼回事。但是關於纖維素最糟糕的事還不在於它到處都有。最糟糕的是，它根本不是食品。
纖維素，與你以為你付錢購買的名副其實的、普(pu)通(tong)的(de)食(shi)品(pin)不(bu)同(tong)，完(wan)全(quan)不(bu)能(neng)被(bei)人(ren)類(lei)消(xiao)化(hua)，也(ye)沒(mei)有(you)任(ren)何(he)值(zhi)得(de)一(yi)提(ti)的(de)營(ying)養(yang)價(jia)值(zhi)。如(ru)果(guo)一(yi)種(zhong)產(chan)品(pin)中(zhong)的(de)它(ta)的(de)含(han)量(liang)太(tai)多(duo)，單(dan)隻(zhi)舔(tian)舔(tian)包(bao)裝(zhuang)紙(zhi)上(shang)甜(tian)甜(tian)的(de)手(shou)印(yin)你(ni)都(dou)可(ke)以(yi)得(de)到(dao)更(geng)多(duo)營(ying)養(yang)。
麵包條和那塊砧板含有相同的木頭成分。
#5，僵屍橙汁
快，提幾樣離你家最近的商店裏賣的最健康的飲料。你說橙汁,說了嗎？這是你生病時人人讓你喝的東西。該死，那東西一定像藥或是什麼的。而且標簽總是提到健康益處——紙盒上嚷嚷著“百分百純天然！”，“非濃縮物提取！”和“無糖添加！”
weishenmebuxinzhexiehua？shuodaozhizuozhedongxi，chengzhikebushixiangchang。ninadaochengzi，bazhijichulai，zhuangjinzhihe，huodaihuobudaiguorou。shiqinggaoding，kaishipinchangmeiwei。danshiruguowomengaosuni，nide“鮮榨”果汁可能有整整一年之“鮮”了，而且裏麵用的東西能讓“活跳屍”噴出來，你會。。。？
恐怖：
為什麼紙盒裝的天然、健康、百分百、非濃縮物提取的橙汁做得味道全一樣，根據牌子不同隻有極小的差別，盡管不含有添加劑或防腐劑之類的東西，曾經疑惑過嗎？
製zhi作zuo過guo程cheng確que實shi是shi從cong壓ya榨zha橙cheng汁zhi開kai始shi的de，但dan這zhe也ye是shi整zheng個ge過guo程cheng中zhong第di一yi和he最zui後hou正zheng常chang的de一yi步bu。之zhi後hou果guo汁zhi馬ma上shang封feng裝zhuang進jin巨ju型xing儲chu罐guan，抽chou除chu所suo有you氧yang氣qi。這zhe允yun許xu這zhe些xie液ye體ti保bao存cun一yi年nian以yi上shang不bu變bian質zhi。這zhe就jiu是shi為wei什shen麼me他ta們men能neng夠gou全quan年nian供gong應ying，即ji便bian在zai橙cheng子zi已yi經jing不bu當dang季ji的de時shi候hou。
這個過程隻有一個缺點（從生產商的觀點看，那是）——飲料裏所有的味道全沒了。所以，現在他們被一桶桶水汪汪的、味道跟紙差不多的葡萄困住了。可憐的大型飲料公司會做點什麼呢？這有啥可奇怪，他們會用一種稱作“味料”的經仔細勾兌的化學混合品給這玩意兒重新調味，那是由配製CK Oneheqitaxiangshuidetongyangjijiaxiangshuigongsishengchande。zhihoutamenzaibazhexietiaochengchengziweidezhishuizhuangpingmaigeini。erqie，ganxieguanlifaguizhongdeyigeloudong，tamenchangchanglandezaipeiliaobiaozhongtidaoweiliaolidehuaxuepin。tingdaochufangchuanlaidishengwuyanlema？nashinizuotianmaidemeizhiyuan。tazhidaonizhidaole。
#4．氨水浸潤的漢堡
任何一家賣漢堡的餐館都會不怕麻煩的向你保證這漢堡有多麼純淨天然。像麥當勞（“我們所有的漢堡百分百以牛排製成，提供方農場經由國家承認的農場驗證體係認證”）和塔可鍾（“如同所有美國牛排一樣，我們百分之百的優質牛肉受美國農業部檢驗，之後又經過我們20道質檢點”）這樣的連鎖餐飲店，會開心的向你保證他們肉類食品的純正。他們牛肉的健康營養驗證讀起來就像他們談論的是奇異的菲列牛排。
除了偶爾大腸杆菌爆發，這些牛肉確實幹淨。但正是他們怎麼讓牛肉幹淨的才讓人不放心。
恐怖：
氨an水shui。你ni知zhi道dao，就jiu是shi那na種zhong他ta們men在zai化hua肥fei和he爐lu灶zao清qing潔jie劑ji裏li使shi用yong的de強qiang烈lie化hua學xue品pin。它ta消xiao滅mie大da腸chang杆gan菌jun真zhen的de是shi很hen有you效xiao果guo。所suo以yi，他ta們men發fa明ming了le一yi種zhong流liu程cheng，中zhong間jian讓rang漢han堡bao包bao經jing過guo一yi條tiao彌mi漫man氨an氣qi的de管guan道dao。你ni可ke能neng從cong來lai沒mei聽ting說shuo過guo這zhe個ge，除chu了le有you些xie時shi候hou，成cheng批pi成cheng批pi的de牛niu肉rou散san發fa出chu如ru此ci濃nong烈lie的de氨an水shui味wei，以yi至zhi於yu顧gu客ke要yao求qiu退tui貨huo。
如果你的巨無霸漢堡啥時候有小便味，那就是因為這個。
這個氨氣消毒流程是由一家名為“牛肉產品有限公司”的企業單獨發明的，該公司起初發展這個流程是為了利用牛身上最便宜的部分，而不像競爭對手那樣出售傻乎乎的上等牛肉（那些餐飲連鎖發誓，我們吃的仍是這個）。結果，牛肉產品有限公司在相當大的程度上占領了美國的漢堡肉餅市場，達到全部漢堡餡的70%都是由他們製做的。感謝你，氨水！
#3．假藍莓
即ji便bian你ni有you剛gang剛gang獲huo得de的de知zhi識shi，知zhi道dao在zai蛋dan糕gao粉fen裏li可ke能neng有you也ye可ke能neng沒mei有you纖xian維wei素su，一yi想xiang到dao鬆song餅bing還hai是shi很hen難nan讓rang人ren不bu流liu口kou水shui。這zhe主zhu要yao是shi因yin為wei那na些xie漿jiang果guo。還hai有you更geng妙miao的de——它們都這麼這麼的健康，吃起來味道這麼好幾乎是不可能的。
什麼都東西加了藍莓都會更好吃——這(zhe)也(ye)是(shi)為(wei)什(shen)麼(me)他(ta)們(men)在(zai)這(zhe)麼(me)多(duo)食(shi)品(pin)裏(li)都(dou)放(fang)藍(lan)莓(mei)。於(yu)是(shi)我(wo)們(men)想(xiang)，確(que)實(shi)看(kan)見(jian)好(hao)多(duo)產(chan)品(pin)裏(li)有(you)好(hao)多(duo)藍(lan)莓(mei)。你(ni)會(hui)認(ren)為(wei)我(wo)們(men)應(ying)該(gai)在(zai)周(zhou)圍(wei)看(kan)到(dao)更(geng)多(duo)的(de)藍(lan)莓(mei)田(tian)
恐怖：
即便有更多藍莓田也沒用，因為你去年全年吃的藍莓實際都來自一塊田地，而這塊田地可能就要化作烏有了。
研究被認為含有藍莓的產品的顯示，許多藍莓都不是自然的產物。所有那些顆顆鑲嵌、有(you)彈(dan)性(xing)又(you)多(duo)汁(zhi)的(de)果(guo)粒(li)，徹(che)底(di)是(shi)人(ren)造(zao)的(de)，它(ta)們(men)包(bao)括(kuo)不(bu)同(tong)的(de)組(zu)合(he)，玉(yu)米(mi)糖(tang)漿(jiang)，一(yi)點(dian)化(hua)學(xue)師(shi)調(tiao)配(pei)的(de)食(shi)品(pin)色(se)素(su)，還(hai)有(you)名(ming)字(zi)裏(li)有(you)一(yi)大(da)堆(dui)數(shu)字(zi)和(he)字(zi)母(mu)的(de)其(qi)他(ta)化(hua)學(xue)品(pin)。
這些東西仿造得也該死像極了——nixuyaozijilejiehuaxueshideshuyucainengguanzhejiaoniufen。ruguonizhidaogaizhaoshenmedehua，yemianqiangnengcongpeiliaobiaoshangkanchutamen，jinguanshengchanshangxihuanyongyixiehubiandemingtougeitamenjiashangweizhuang，biru“藍莓薄片”，“藍莓屑”。
在真藍莓和可惡的假藍莓之間，有好幾項重要區別：假藍莓有保存期限更長的優勢，當然，生產也更便宜。但他們完全沒有真東西的健康利益和營養物質。當然，這沒有阻止生產商把“藍莓健康列車”一路開到站，用鮮莓圖片和其他瞎編的提示貼滿了產品包裝。
現在，這裏有一些好消息：法fa律lv要yao求qiu生sheng產chan商shang把ba整zheng個ge這zhe個ge人ren造zao品pin為wei消xiao費fei者zhe標biao明ming出chu來lai。然ran而er，壞huai消xiao息xi是shi，他ta們men也ye已yi經jing找zhao到dao了le逃tao避bi的de捷jie徑jing。第di一yi個ge想xiang出chu主zhu意yi的de，凱kai洛luo格ge的de迷mi你ni麥mai：
zheduoshaoshikeyibianrenchulaide。tamenzhishitieleyizhanglanmeidetupianzainaer，tongshigenbenmeiyoujieshizheyishishi，zhezhongguwushipinkanzhejiuxiangshiyongyingzhibanhelansemianhuzuode。
一大堆“貝蒂妙廚”的產品和Targetsongbingcaiyongdeshidierzhongluxian，tongguoshijihanyouyidingbudingliangdezhenlanmeibaqipianshuipingxiangzongshenzuoletuijin。yongzhezhao，tamenjiunenghefadezaiguanggaolixuanchuanzirankouwei，tongshibajuedaduoshumeiziyongrenzaopintidaidiao。
或者，你可以采取“老子TM什麼也不給”的路線，就像通用磨坊公司的“藍莓石榴穀物早餐”身體力行的那樣。這一產品的全部賣點就是它含有整吊鬥的藍莓和石榴粒，包裝上吹噓的全是市場部能夢得出來的時髦詞兒：
#2，擠著住的散養雞
買散養雞蛋是作為消費者感覺良好的最簡單方式之一——它們至少像“普通雞蛋”那樣隨時能買到，和那種由Big Egg經(jing)營(ying)的(de)可(ke)怕(pa)的(de)大(da)型(xing)雞(ji)監(jian)獄(yu)批(pi)量(liang)生(sheng)產(chan)的(de)雞(ji)蛋(dan)一(yi)樣(yang)。該(gai)死(si)的(de)是(shi)，它(ta)們(men)甚(shen)至(zhi)要(yao)價(jia)也(ye)幾(ji)乎(hu)一(yi)樣(yang)。即(ji)便(bian)我(wo)們(men)現(xian)在(zai)想(xiang)想(xiang)其(qi)實(shi)不(bu)確(que)定(ding)那(na)是(shi)個(ge)什(shen)麼(me)東(dong)西(xi)，但(dan)還(hai)是(shi)沒(mei)理(li)由(you)不(bu)買(mai)散(san)養(yang)蛋(dan)。至(zhi)少(shao)雞(ji)一(yi)定(ding)生(sheng)活(huo)在(zai)相(xiang)當(dang)好(hao)的(de)條(tiao)件(jian)下(xia)。幹(gan)脆(cui)，讓(rang)我(wo)們(men)買(mai)肉(rou)買(mai)雞(ji)也(ye)要(yao)散(san)養(yang)的(de)吧(ba)！
額，根據法律，“散養”的定義是，肉用雞“可以在外麵活動”。OK。。。所以並不像我們想的那麼自由，而且看起來隻適用在肉用雞身上。但至少，“外麵”等等的讓他們還有一些自由。
恐怖：
詞語是有力量的，“散養”的原意是無籬笆、wuxianzhi。zheshitachengweiyigeyoulideci，buguanwomenyouduocongming，douhuizaiqianyishiligouxiangchuziyoumujidexingxiang，taqizhexiaoxiaodeziyouzhimazaicaoyuanshangbenchi，daizhemujixinghaodeniuzaimao，kuailedezaishenhouliuxiayixiaoxingmeiweideziyoujidan。yexuhaipeiyoumantuolinyinle。
但事實上，對肉用雞之外使用“散放”這個詞，絕對沒有任何相關規定。你的士力架也可以是“散養”的de，政zheng府fu管guan不bu著zhe。這zhe一yi行xing的de人ren完wan全quan了le解jie這zhe個ge，於yu是shi愉yu快kuai的de讓rang我wo們men欣xin然ran接jie受shou散san養yang的de神shen話hua，即ji便bian事shi實shi上shang散san養yang母mu雞ji生sheng活huo在zai差cha不bu多duo像xiang格ge子zi籠long母mu雞ji一yi樣yang的de監jian獄yu裏li——除了它的一生是在監獄澡堂裏度過的，而不是小牢房。
人ren們men對dui自zi由you散san養yang神shen話hua的de覺jiao醒xing在zai慢man慢man增zeng加jia，但dan是shi盡jin管guan曾zeng有you一yi個ge生sheng產chan商shang因yin為wei運yun氣qi用yong得de有you點dian過guo而er被bei關guan過guo幾ji天tian，這zhe對dui整zheng個ge現xian象xiang都dou沒mei什shen麼me影ying響xiang。事shi實shi上shang，歐ou洲zhou將jiang在zai2012年開始禁止網箱式的雞蛋生產。但，。。猜猜替代方式會是什麼？
#1 騙人的健康宣示
jianguojianshaodexinzangbingdeweixian。suannaigaishanxiaohua，yufangjibing。yingershipinnengzhengjiunihaizideguominxingpiyan，bengguantakenengshishenmedongxi。zheyangdechanpinxianzaidaochudoushi，erqiewomenbixuchengrenhennankanchutamenyoushenmebudui。womenfanzhengyaochisuannai，weishabushunbianrangtayouliyuwomendeweine？
隻zhi是shi我wo們men忍ren不bu住zhu想xiang問wen，這zhe些xie魔mo力li食shi品pin是shi從cong哪na裏li突tu然ran出chu現xian的de。昨zuo天tian你ni的de花hua生sheng還hai是shi花hua生sheng，突tu然ran，它ta又you能neng治zhi療liao冠guan狀zhuang動dong脈mai疾ji病bing，又you能neng降jiang低di心xin髒zang病bing發fa的de危wei險xian。也ye許xu食shi品pin科ke學xue昨zuo個ge兒er剛gang發fa現xian了le一yi塊kuai賊zei寶bao賊zei寶bao的de寶bao地di？
恐怖：
絕大多數產品健康宣示采用的技術比我們多數人知道的都要老：瞎編濫造的古老藝術。其實，奇妙酸奶的“健康效果”和大部分其他產品聲稱達到藥物水平的健康利益，都可以被完全、徹底和輕易的揭露出來。那麼，為啥他們還能持續推銷這號東西？
這一切是從2002年開始的，當時許多普通食品突然發現自己獲得了令人驚訝的、迄今為止沒人見過的超級功效。這時(美國)食品藥品監管局為我們引入了一個新類別的審批前產品聲明。它叫作“資格健康聲明”，zhiyaoyijiagongsidechanpindadaomouzhongzigeyaoqiu，zhefenshengmingjibenshangjiuchengweitakeyishiyongdelingyifenyingxiaochuixuxuanchuandanbale。zhebingbuxinxian。danxinxiandeshi，zhezhangdanzishangduichanpinjiankangxuanshisuoxudekexuezhengjugongshiquezhizibuti。
自從“不需要共識”成為“付錢買通試驗人員提你的產品說好話，我們會聽了就當真不管別人再說啥”的法律術語之後，各公司便馬上發了瘋。
“不需要共識”作zuo為wei法fa律lv術shu語yu，代dai表biao的de是shi你ni可ke以yi付fu錢qian買mai通tong一yi個ge穿chuan試shi驗yan白bai大da褂gua的de家jia夥huo，讓rang他ta說shuo你ni的de產chan品pin具ju有you神shen奇qi功gong效xiao，然ran後hou大da家jia會hui把ba這zhe話hua當dang真zhen，別bie人ren再zai說shuo什shen麼me都dou沒mei用yong了le。從cong那na以yi後hou，各ge家jia公gong司si便bian發fa了le瘋feng。突tu然ran，人ren人ren都dou有you一yi位wei可ke敬jing的de科ke學xue家jia，或huo者zhe角jiao落luo裏li還hai有you六liu個ge。而er他ta們men發fa表biao的de說shuo明ming書shu基ji本ben上shang讓rang他ta們men可ke以yi在zai宣xuan傳chuan中zhong或huo是shi包bao裝zhuang上shang想xiang怎zen麼me說shuo就jiu怎zen麼me說shuo。我wo們men不bu是shi說shuo這zhe些xie產chan品pin吹chui噓xu的de健jian康kang性xing質zhi沒mei有you半ban點dian作zuo用yong。有you很hen多duo效xiao果guo，但dan是shi很hen難nan說shuo不bu停ting大da吹chui大da擂lei的de補bu充chong說shuo明ming跟gen它ta們men有you什shen麼me對dui應ying。行xing了le，食shi品pin產chan業ye——就告訴我們真心話吧。你不就是發現我們吃什麼都行嗎？狗屎，人們還買煙卷呢，不是嗎。
