When you tell entrepreneurs that relationships are the key to developing a personal and professional network, they often smile and acknowledge the concept without fully appreciating it. Let me put this notion into perspective.

    Imagine you're standing in a large room full of people, and I ask everyone to pull out their key rings. Visualize everyone holding up the keys to their house, their office and their car as I ask everyone to show them to the room.

    Now here’s my question: Would you hand over your car keys to a perfect stranger? What about those to your office or home? Of course not!

    Now instead of a key to a car or a home, imagine you have a key that opens the door to an important relationship with a colleague that another person would like to connect with. Let’s say you hold the key to this relationship, but you don’t know the person who's asking for it. Would you give it to them? Of course not! Why? Because when you give a referral, you give away a piece of your reputation. If it's a good referral, it helps your reputation; if it's a bad referral, it hurts. Intuitively, you'll only hand over the keys to someone you know and trust.

    What I love about this metaphor is how it works on two levels. First, you’re not going to hand over the keys to a relationship until you know a person well. But more important, others don’t even know what keys you actually have until you trust them enough to tell them.

    It's not just you; nobody is willing to hand over the keys to important relationships until they know and trust the person asking. Unfortunately, when networking, some people expect perfect strangers to hand over the keys right away.

    Take a look at your referral partners. Would it surprise you if they had keys to referrals they're keeping in their pockets until they trust you with them? It shouldn’t. So how do we begin this process of exchanging keys?

    It all comes down to establishing credibility with your referral partners. I've seen many people who think networking is about meeting people and asking for business right then and there. That’s it. They meet someone and focus on telling them what they need or what kind of business they want. It’s like saying, “Hello, my name is Ivan. Let’s do business.”

    Effective networking is about building relationships with others who can refer you once they've come to trust you, have confidence in you and feel loyal to you. This truly is the key to networking success. And this process takes time. This isn’t a get-rich-quick scheme.

    If there were a single networking concept I had to identify that most entrepreneurs just don’t get, it would be building relationships over time. They listen, acknowledge its importance, then ask about the best way to close a deal when meeting someone for the first time. The short answer is, you don’t. OK, everyone has that one fluke story about meeting someone for the first time and ending up doing business, but that’s not the norm. The norm in successful networking is building a relationship to generate long-term referrals.

    I think you'll be astonished at how powerful this concept is when put into action. Think of it this way: When you get to the place where you can, without hesitation, hand over your physical set of keys to someone, you'll be in the best place possible to begin asking for keys to their relationships.

    dangwoxiangqiyejiamentijirenjiguanxishijianligerenhezhuanyejiaojiwangdeguanjianshi，tamenjingchanghuiweixiaozhefuhe，queweiwanquanyishidao。jiexialairangwoyongyigebiyulaiyanzhengzhegeguandian。

    試想一下
，我請房間裏的每個人拿出他們的鑰匙圈。他們聽從我的指示舉起他們房子，辦公室和汽車的鑰匙。

    現在請回答我
，你會把你的車鑰匙交給一個完全陌生的人嗎
？辦公室或者家裏的鑰匙？答案當然是不會！

    那na倘tang若ruo現xian在zai你ni掌zhang握wo的de不bu是shi車che或huo者zhe家jia裏li的de要yao是shi，而er是shi掌zhang握wo著zhe能neng開kai啟qi你ni的de同tong事shi和he他ta人ren關guan係xi的de鑰yao匙chi。也ye就jiu是shi說shuo，當dang一yi位wei你ni不bu認ren識shi的de人ren想xiang要yao通tong過guo你ni認ren識shi你ni的de同tong事shi

，你ni會hui答da應ying嗎ma？當dang然ran不bu！為wei什shen麼me？因yin為wei當dang你ni答da應ying介jie紹shao的de同tong時shi
，也ye關guan係xi到dao你ni的de個ge人ren聲sheng譽yu。如ru果guo你ni的de介jie紹shao正zheng確que
，可ke以yi幫bang助zhu你ni提ti升sheng威wei望wang

，相xiang反fan，則ze大da大da有you損sun。所suo以yi理li所suo當dang然ran的de，你ni隻zhi會hui答da應ying那na些xie你ni認ren識shi並bing且qie信xin任ren的de人ren。

    woxihuanzhegebiyudeyuanyinshitazailianggebutongdecengmiantongyangshiyong。shouxian，nibuhuijiangkaiqiguanxideyaochijiaogeiyigemoshengrendeshoushang
，gengzhongyaodeshi，zainigaosubierenzhiqian
，tamenshenzhibuzhidaonizhangwolenazhongyaochi。

    bujinjinshini，meiyourenyuanyisuibianjiangkaiqizhongyaoguanxideyaochijiaoyutarenchufeiduifangshizijishuzhihexinrende。buxingdeshi，zairenjijiaowangshi，youxierenzongshiqiwangcongmoshengrenchulijihuodezhebayaochi。

    請(qing)看(kan)看(kan)你(ni)周(zhou)圍(wei)的(de)朋(peng)友(you)。倘(tang)若(ruo)他(ta)們(men)不(bu)幫(bang)你(ni)舉(ju)薦(jian)直(zhi)到(dao)他(ta)們(men)信(xin)任(ren)你(ni)為(wei)止(zhi)，你(ni)會(hui)感(gan)到(dao)驚(jing)訝(ya)嗎(ma)
？應(ying)該(gai)不(bu)會(hui)吧(ba)。所(suo)以(yi)我(wo)們(men)如(ru)何(he)開(kai)始(shi)交(jiao)換(huan)開(kai)啟(qi)人(ren)際(ji)關(guan)係(xi)的(de)鑰(yao)匙(chi)呢(ne)？

    歸gui根gen結jie底di，這zhe都dou在zai於yu建jian立li彼bi此ci的de信xin任ren度du。我wo見jian過guo許xu多duo人ren認ren為wei人ren際ji交jiao往wang僅jin僅jin是shi四si處chu認ren識shi人ren和he尋xun找zhao業ye務wu。他ta們men對dui著zhe剛gang認ren識shi的de人ren說shuo出chu他ta們men的de需xu求qiu和he想xiang做zuo哪na種zhong生sheng意yi。看kan上shang去qu就jiu像xiang在zai說shuo：“你好
，我的名字叫Ivan。我們一起做生意吧。”

    有you效xiao的de人ren際ji交jiao往wang是shi和he那na些xie能neng介jie紹shao推tui薦jian你ni的de人ren建jian立li關guan係xi。在zai此ci之zhi前qian，他ta們men必bi須xu新xin任ren你ni
，對dui你ni忠zhong誠cheng和he有you信xin心xin。這zhe真zhen的de就jiu是shi成cheng功gong建jian立li人ren際ji網wang絡luo的de關guan鍵jian。這zhe個ge過guo程cheng需xu要yao時shi間jian，並bing非fei一yi夜ye致zhi富fu那na麼me簡jian單dan的de。

    wobixuzhichuyixiangrenjijiaowangdeyuanli，najiushisuizheshijianmanmanjianlirenjiguanxi

，zheyeshixuduoqiyejiameiyouyishidaode。tamenqingtingbingqiechengrenzhegeyuanzedezhongyaoxing，jiezheyiranxunwenwodiyiciyudaobierenjiugenduifangdachengyigeyixiangdezuihaofangfa。daanshi，buyao！好吧


，可能每個人都有過僥幸地和初次見麵的人做成買賣，但是這絕不是典型。成功的人際交往典型是
，建立長期的合作關係。

    我堅信當你落實到行動時
，你會因為這條原理的巨大作用而感到驚訝。