Every relationship experiences some conflict. Some experience more than others, some are playful, and some are hateful. Then there are those that are never ending patterns of conflict that seem impossible to break.

If you do want to stop the cycle of conflict, consider these 10 steps to bring harmony back to your relationship. Note that this doesn't only apply to parent and girlfriends, these can apply to work conflicts as well.

1.Cool Down Time. If you've found yourself in a heated argument, the best thing you can do is walk away for a little while. Blow off some steam with a walk or by talking things out with a clear headed friend. If you just need some rest, take a nap or a meditation nap.

Before going separate ways, take a deep breath and agree to discuss the issue later. The whole goal of separating should be to come back together with a better ability to work things out.

2.Mutual Respect. No matter how divided you are in your positions, always remember the humanity of the other person. Keep in mind their weaknesses and frailties. Think about the respect you want and then give it unconditionally to the other person. Be kind even if you are angry. If that makes you cry instead of screaming, you'll probably find that yourself getting closer to the true root of the issue. When you get to the root, you can start solving things.

3.Start with Yourself. Ask yourself what part of the argument is your responsibility. How did you contribute to this argument? What can you do to resolve it? Do you need to apologize? Do you know how? This video taught me the 3 steps to a proper apology:

I'm sorry.
It was my fault.
How can I make it right again?

4.What's It All About?From your perspective, what is the argument really about? What would the other person say the argument is about? What common goals do you both share that could be used as a vehicle to reach a resolution?

5.Needs vs. Wants. Figure out what it is that you want. Then ask yourself, "what do I really need?" Go for what you need and be flexible on your wants. A need is something you can't live without and a want is more of a preference. A resolution doesn't mean you get everything you want, but hopefully you get everything that you need. If you can't get what you need then you may need to re-evaluate the relationship.

6.Compassion and Empathy. How is the other person feeling? How would it feel to be in their shoes? Be honest. What are their fears behind the anger? Focus on the good qualities in the other person and consider what their goals are.

7.Wisdom and Strengths. What are the best qualities of this person? What wisdom do they possess? Everyone is smart about something. How can you tap into that wisdom to help you move forward out of conflict? What can you learn from your partner?

8.Better to Be Happy than to Be Right. Conflict can be hurtful and damaging to a relationship when allowed to run wild. Take a step back to view the big picture. What do you really want? What is your goal?At the end of your life, how will you view this argument? What will you wish you did? How can you emerge from this conflict and return to a light and peaceful state?

9.Mutual Caring. What good things do you want for your partner? How can you help that person get what they need while you get what you need, either actively or by taking a step back?

10.Good Times Together. Often we can get into a pattern of conflict with partners and friends when we are not finding time to share fun together. So once the immediate conflict is resolved or at least semi-resolved, take some action that will have long-term benefits. Schedule in fun time together on a regular basis. A good place to start is once a week. Designate this time to be "Fun Time Only" together. No discussion of trigger topics, just fun. Enjoy!

How do you resolve conflicts? What's the best way you know to maintain harmony in a relationship? We look forward to hearing from you!

每(mei)種(zhong)人(ren)際(ji)關(guan)係(xi)都(dou)會(hui)遇(yu)到(dao)一(yi)些(xie)摩(mo)擦(ca)和(he)矛(mao)盾(dun)。某(mou)些(xie)人(ren)遇(yu)到(dao)的(de)比(bi)別(bie)人(ren)更(geng)多(duo)一(yi)些(xie)。有(you)些(xie)是(shi)開(kai)玩(wan)笑(xiao)式(shi)的(de)，有(you)些(xie)是(shi)令(ling)人(ren)討(tao)厭(yan)的(de)。但(dan)是(shi)也(ye)有(you)一(yi)些(xie)是(shi)永(yong)無(wu)休(xiu)止(zhi)似(si)乎(hu)不(bu)能(neng)解(jie)開(kai)的(de)矛(mao)盾(dun)類(lei)型(xing)。

如果你想要結束這種循環衝突，不妨考慮一下將你的人際關係帶回到融洽和諧的這10個步驟。注意
，這不僅適用於你的雙親和女友，它們也可能適用於處理工作矛盾。

1、冷leng靜jing一yi段duan時shi間jian。如ru果guo你ni發fa現xian自zi己ji處chu於yu激ji烈lie的de爭zheng辯bian之zhi中zhong
，你ni最zui該gai做zuo的de事shi情qing就jiu是shi離li開kai一yi會hui兒er
，通tong過guo散san步bu或huo者zhe找zhao一yi個ge頭tou腦nao清qing醒xing的de朋peng友you談tan談tan心xin，讓rang頭tou腦nao冷leng靜jing下xia來lai。如ru果guo你ni正zheng好hao需xu要yao稍shao事shi休xiu息xi，就jiu打da個ge小xiao盹dun兒er或huo者zhe瞑ming思si一yi會hui兒er。

在離開之前深深呼吸一下，並且表示同意稍後再討論這個話題。你的離開完全是為了回來後能夠更好地把問題解決。

2、互hu相xiang尊zun重zhong。不bu管guan你ni處chu於yu什shen麼me位wei置zhi
，都dou要yao始shi終zhong記ji得de別bie人ren的de好hao處chu
，將jiang他ta們men的de弱ruo點dian和he短duan處chu壓ya在zai心xin底di。想xiang一yi想xiang你ni所suo希xi望wang得de到dao的de尊zun重zhong，然ran後hou將jiang其qi無wu條tiao件jian地di施shi予yu他ta人ren。即ji使shi很hen生sheng氣qi也ye要yao表biao示shi出chu親qin切qie。如ru果guo情qing況kuang使shi你ni從cong嘶si叫jiao轉zhuan為wei哭ku泣qi，你ni可ke能neng會hui發fa現xian自zi己ji越yue來lai越yue接jie近jin問wen題ti的de根gen源yuan。在zai你ni找zhao根gen源yuan時shi，你ni才cai能neng夠gou開kai始shi解jie決jue問wen題ti。

3
、xiancongzijishenshangzhaoyuanyin。wenyixiaziji，zhenglunzhongdenayibufenshinidezeren。nishiruhecuchengzhechangzhenglunde
？ninengweijiejuezhechangzhenglunzuoxieshenme
？nixuyaodaoqianma
？nizhidaozenmedaoqianma？zhegeyingxiangpianjiaogeilewozhengquedaoqiande 3 步：

對不起。
是我的錯。
我怎麼能再次把它做對呢？

4、都(dou)是(shi)為(wei)什(shen)麼(me)呢(ne)？從(cong)你(ni)看(kan)來(lai)
，這(zhe)場(chang)爭(zheng)論(lun)究(jiu)竟(jing)是(shi)因(yin)為(wei)什(shen)麼(me)
？別(bie)人(ren)會(hui)認(ren)為(wei)這(zhe)場(chang)爭(zheng)論(lun)是(shi)因(yin)為(wei)什(shen)麼(me)呢(ne)
？你(ni)們(men)雙(shuang)方(fang)的(de)哪(na)些(xie)共(gong)同(tong)點(dian)可(ke)以(yi)用(yong)來(lai)作(zuo)為(wei)達(da)到(dao)解(jie)決(jue)問(wen)題(ti)的(de)契(qi)機(ji)呢(ne)。

5、需要的和想要的。明確什麼是你想要的東西。然後問自己，“什麼是我真正需要的東西
？” zhuiqiunisuoxuyaodedongxi
，erlinghuoqushenixiangyaodedongxi。xuyaodedongxishizhimeiyoutajiunanyishenghuodeyixiedongxi，erxiangyaodedongxidaduoshigerenpianhaodedongxi。wentidejiejuebingbuyiweinidedaolenixiangyaodemeiyangdongxi，danshikeyizhiwangnidedaolenixuyaodemeiyangdongxi。ruguonibunengdedaonixuyaodedongxi，najiukenengyaozhongxinpingjiayixiazhezhongrenjiguanxile。

6、tongqinghehuanweisikao。kaolvyixiabierendeganshouzenyang？zhanzaibierendeweizhishanghuishizenyangdeganjiao？yaoshuolaoshihua。tamenyanzangzaifennubeihoudekongjujiujingshishenmene

？zheyanbierenhaodedifang，bingqiekaolvshenmeshitamendemude
？

7、智zhi慧hui和he力li量liang。這zhe個ge人ren的de最zui好hao的de品pin質zhi是shi什shen麼me？他ta們men擁yong有you什shen麼me樣yang的de智zhi慧hui？每mei個ge人ren都dou有you他ta所suo擅shan長chang的de方fang麵mian。怎zen樣yang才cai可ke能neng吸xi取qu這zhe些xie智zhi慧hui幫bang助zhu你ni們men走zou向xiang矛mao盾dun的de解jie決jue？你ni可ke以yi從cong你ni的de夥huo伴ban身shen上shang學xue到dao些xie什shen麼me？

8、快樂比做對更好。矛盾如果任其發展下去，會對人際關係造成損害和破壞。讓我們大體回顧一下吧：你(ni)真(zhen)正(zheng)想(xiang)要(yao)的(de)是(shi)什(shen)麼(me)？你(ni)的(de)目(mu)的(de)是(shi)什(shen)麼(me)？在(zai)生(sheng)命(ming)的(de)最(zui)後(hou)你(ni)會(hui)怎(zen)樣(yang)看(kan)待(dai)這(zhe)場(chang)爭(zheng)論(lun)？你(ni)希(xi)望(wang)你(ni)當(dang)時(shi)做(zuo)些(xie)什(shen)麼(me)？你(ni)是(shi)怎(zen)樣(yang)擺(bai)脫(tuo)這(zhe)場(chang)爭(zheng)論(lun)並(bing)且(qie)回(hui)歸(gui)到(dao)開(kai)朗(lang)、平和的狀態的？

9、xianghuguanxin。nixiwanggeinideshuangqinyixieshenmehaodongxi？nizenyangcainengbangzhunarendedaotamenxuyaodedongxitongshiniyededaonisuoxuyaodedongxi，wulunshijijidihuozhecaiqudianhuigu
？

10、共gong度du美mei好hao時shi光guang。當dang我wo們men很hen少shao找zhao到dao時shi間jian和he朋peng友you夥huo伴ban們men共gong享xiang歡huan樂le時shi，我wo們men可ke能neng經jing常chang和he他ta們men陷xian入ru矛mao盾dun狀zhuang態tai。所suo以yi，在zai一yi場chang矛mao盾dun解jie決jue或huo者zhe至zhi少shao是shi半ban解jie決jue時shi采cai取qu點dian行xing動dong，將jiang是shi長chang久jiu受shou益yi的de。要yao安an排pai定ding期qi的de共gong同tong歡huan樂le時shi間jian。每mei周zhou一yi次ci是shi不bu錯cuo的de開kai始shi。指zhi定ding這zhe個ge時shi間jian大da家jia一yi起qi“隻許娛樂”
，不討論嚴肅的題目，隻是歡樂、享受！

你是怎樣解決矛盾的

？你所知道的保持人際關係融洽和睦的最好方法是什麼？期待聽聽你的高招！