If you’ve ever seen a spider lure a fly into its web you’ll know that brains not brawn is the secret to emerging victorious in any confrontational act. In an argument you should take the roll of the spider. Stay calm and focused as you build your case (web), and lead your opponent neatly into the sticky parts while you stay on safe ground yourself.

Have you been at the losing end of more than just one argument lately? Read on for some comprehensive keys that will help you unlock your winning strategies and lure your opponents into your web.

1. Soft and steady wins the race:
It’s basic human nature – the louder you talk, the louder your opponent shouts. An argument is not about who can out-shout the other, it’s about making the other person see your point of view, by hook or by crook. One hook you can use to draw them to your side is to speak softly at all times, no matter what the provocation. Do not let your emotions get the best of you, for if you do, you let your defenses down. Remain calm under any circumstance, and at some point in the course of the argument, your opponent will run out of steam.

2. Information is power: Know your facts before you
get involved in an argument. When you’re able to provide absolute proof that you’re telling all the facts, you have the added edge in coming out on top. If your opponent is as good at arguing as you are, it helps not to let errors and half-truths creep into your argument – he’ll be sure to call you out on them.

3. Paying attention pays: Winning an argument does
not entail just presenting your side of the case, you also have to listen very carefully to what your opponent is saying. Very often, you’ll find openings in his statements that will allow you to gain the upper hand. Knowing and being able to understand the way your opponent thinks is an added advantage. At times, you can second-guess what he’s planning to say and chart out your course of action accordingly.

4. Do not stray from the chosen path: Sticking to
the subject during an argument is sometimes the most difficult thing to do. If you or your opponent veers to another topic, you tend to start an entirely new argument. One thing leads to another and the original purpose is lost among the myriad views that emerge. Sometimes, changing the subject may be a ploy used by your opponent to throw you off course. Take this as a sign that he feels threatened you’ll win, and steer the subject back to the original.

5. Learn the art of manipulation:
There are some individuals so stubborn that they will never admit when they are wrong, no matter how blatantly obvious it is. To deal with this species, it pays to be a master manipulator. A surefire way to win the argument against them involves you getting them to project your point of view as their own. Admittedly, this takes a great deal of skill and patience, but once you’re adept at using your persuasive powers, you’ll never lose an argument. And the best part is that there’s no ill will on your opponent’s part – after all, he thinks he’s the victor.

6. The longer route is sometimes shorter: A worthy
opponent will know how to bring you to your knees if you reveal your hand at the outset. An argument is like a game of poker – you have to play your cards close to your chest and try to bluff your way through to the end. Keep your plans up your sleeve and put your points across in random order so that your opponent is left guessing where you’re going till the very end. This leaves him with no time to plan his argument, and you’ve succeeded in putting him on the defensive.

7. Eat humble pie: Being human means we are entitled to our fair share of mistakes. The greatness of an individual lies not in being right all the time, but in being man enough to admit that he was wrong when he makes a mistake. When you realize in the middle of an argument that you are in the wrong, be the bigger person and say so. You’ll find your opponent’s respect for you go up several notches. Admitting you’re wrong when you are will also make it easy for people to actually believe you are right when you emphatically state so. While on the subject of mistakes, let me add that it’s never a good idea to accuse your opponent of being wrong. It’s ok if you can back up your accusation with hard facts, but otherwise, it’s only going to get his hackles raised.

8. Silence is golden: Sometimes, silence is the
most effective argument. Stop talking in the middle of the argument and stay quiet no matter what your opponent says or does. Use this tactic after you’ve made a pretty strong point and your opponent is trying to bluster his way out of the net you’ve entangled him in. You’ll find that the argument dies a natural death when only one person is powering it. Your opponent may not admit that he’s lost, but you’ll know you’ve won when he turns around and walks away.

9. Don’t play dirty: No matter how low your opponent stoops, never resort to name-calling, swearing or attacking him on a personal level. Racial, social and cultural slurs reflect poorly on you and only emphasize that you are not confident in your knowledge of the argument’s subject. Stay calm and collected, even when your opponent is showering you with the choicest epithets.

10. The argument against arguments: Never argue
just for argument’s sake. It’s the worst thing to do. If you’re the kind who argues for every single issue under the sun, you’ll find your credibility questioned even when you really need to engage in a real argument.

 如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)曾(zeng)看(kan)過(guo)蜘(zhi)蛛(zhu)如(ru)何(he)抓(zhua)蒼(cang)蠅(ying)的(de)話(hua)，你(ni)就(jiu)會(hui)明(ming)白(bai)在(zai)任(ren)何(he)對(dui)抗(kang)性(xing)活(huo)動(dong)中(zhong)，成(cheng)為(wei)勝(sheng)者(zhe)的(de)秘(mi)密(mi)是(shi)頭(tou)腦(nao)而(er)非(fei)肌(ji)肉(rou)。在(zai)爭(zheng)論(lun)時(shi)你(ni)應(ying)該(gai)扮(ban)演(yan)蜘(zhi)蛛(zhu)的(de)角(jiao)色(se)—冷靜且專注的織網
，自己呆在安全的地方
，引導對手進入陷阱。

你在最近的爭論中不止一次的失敗過嗎？讀一讀下麵這些方法
，它們會幫助你製定獲勝的策略並引誘對手到你的“網”中。

1.保持溫和冷靜的態度。 
人的天性如此—nideshengyinyueda，duishouhandeshengyingengda。zhenglunbidebushishuinenghanguoshui，ershitongguocelverangqitarenmingbainideguandian。wulunbeiruhedejinu，douyinggaibaochiwenhedeyutiao，zheshiyixiangnengzhengqutarenzhichidefangfa。bierangnideqingxuzhanshengniziji。ruguonizheyangzuodehua，nijiujiangdilezijidefangyunengli。zairenheqingkuangxiadoubaochilengjing，zhehuirangnideduishouzaizhenglunzhongxieqi。

 2.信息就是力量。    在zai被bei卷juan入ru爭zheng論lun前qian先xian充chong分fen了le解jie自zi己ji的de觀guan點dian。當dang你ni能neng為wei自zi己ji陳chen述shu的de所suo有you事shi實shi提ti供gong絕jue對dui的de證zheng據ju時shi，你ni就jiu擁yong有you成cheng為wei獲huo勝sheng者zhe的de額e外wai優you勢shi。如ru果guo你ni的de對dui手shou和he你ni一yi樣yang擅shan長chang辯bian論lun技ji巧qiao的de話hua，這zhe樣yang做zuo可ke以yi杜du絕jue錯cuo誤wu與yu半ban真zhen半ban假jia的de信xin息xi消xiao弱ruo你ni的de觀guan點dian。

3.注意聆聽。      想在爭論中贏得勝利並不僅僅意味著闡述你自己的觀點
，你應該很仔細的聆聽對手的發言。通常情況下
，你將在他的評論中發現突破
口，而這將讓你具有額外的優勢。了解並理解對手的思維方式是一種額外的優勢，有時你可以以此來預測對手打算攻擊你的方向。

4. 不要偏離所選定的方向。
在(zai)爭(zheng)論(lun)中(zhong)堅(jian)持(chi)自(zi)己(ji)的(de)觀(guan)點(dian)有(you)時(shi)是(shi)最(zui)難(nan)做(zuo)的(de)事(shi)情(qing)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)或(huo)你(ni)的(de)對(dui)手(shou)突(tu)然(ran)轉(zhuan)向(xiang)另(ling)一(yi)個(ge)話(hua)題(ti)，你(ni)將(jiang)重(zhong)新(xin)開(kai)始(shi)一(yi)場(chang)新(xin)的(de)爭(zheng)論(lun)。一(yi)件(jian)事(shi)引(yin)起(qi)另(ling)一(yi)件(jian)事(shi)，而(er)你(ni)最(zui)初(chu)的(de)目(mu)的(de)則(ze)迷(mi)失(shi)在(zai)不(bu)斷(duan)出(chu)現(xian)的(de)新(xin)觀(guan)點(dian)之(zhi)中(zhong)。有(you)時(shi)

，改(gai)變(bian)爭(zheng)論(lun)主(zhu)題(ti)是(shi)你(ni)對(dui)手(shou)使(shi)用(yong)的(de)一(yi)種(zhong)讓(rang)你(ni)迷(mi)失(shi)方(fang)向(xiang)的(de)策(ce)略(lve)。把(ba)這(zhe)當(dang)成(cheng)他(ta)害(hai)怕(pa)你(ni)將(jiang)取(qu)得(de)勝(sheng)利(li)的(de)信(xin)號(hao)並(bing)且(qie)引(yin)導(dao)爭(zheng)論(lun)重(zhong)新(xin)回(hui)到(dao)最(zui)初(chu)的(de)主(zhu)題(ti)。

5.學會勸誘藝術。
有you些xie人ren是shi如ru此ci的de固gu執zhi，他ta們men永yong遠yuan不bu會hui承cheng認ren自zi己ji的de錯cuo誤wu，無wu論lun這zhe錯cuo誤wu是shi多duo麼me的de明ming顯xian。與yu這zhe種zhong人ren打da交jiao道dao的de時shi候hou你ni就jiu應ying該gai成cheng為wei熟shu練lian的de勸quan誘you者zhe。取qu得de與yu他ta們men爭zheng論lun勝sheng利li的de最zui確que定ding做zuo法fa是shi讓rang他ta們men像xiang堅jian持chi自zi己ji的de觀guan點dian一yi樣yang擁yong護hu你ni的de觀guan點dian。誠cheng然ran
，這zhe需xu要yao大da量liang的de技ji巧qiao和he耐nai心xin，但dan一yi旦dan你ni熟shu練lian的de使shi用yong勸quan誘you技ji巧qiao
，你ni就jiu將jiang在zai這zhe類lei爭zheng論lun中zhong百bai戰zhan百bai勝sheng。而er這zhe種zhong方fang法fa最zui好hao的de地di方fang在zai於yu你ni的de對dui手shou將jiang對dui你ni毫hao無wu敵di意yi，畢bi竟jing他ta認ren為wei自zi己ji才cai是shi勝sheng利li者zhe。

6.quxiancelve。ruguonibazijideyitubaoluzaiwai
，yigejiechudeduishoujiuzhidaoruhezhanshengni。zhenglunjiuxiangdapai，niyinggaibapaikaozaizijidexiongkou，buduandemengbiduishou，zhidaopaijujieshu。yinzangnidejihua
，suijideshuochuzijideguandian
，zheyangnideduishoujiucaibudaonideyitu，zhidaozhenglunjieshu。zheyangzuokeyirangtameiyoushijianjihuazijidezhengluncelve，ernizechenggongdeshitachengweibeidongdefangshouzhe。

7.勇yong於yu認ren錯cuo。每mei個ge人ren都dou會hui犯fan錯cuo。偉wei人ren之zhi所suo以yi偉wei大da不bu在zai於yu他ta永yong遠yuan是shi對dui的de，而er在zai於yu他ta能neng在zai犯fan錯cuo的de時shi候hou勇yong敢gan的de承cheng認ren錯cuo誤wu。當dang你ni在zai爭zheng論lun的de時shi候hou意yi識shi到dao自zi己ji的de錯cuo誤wu，勇yong敢gan的de承cheng認ren吧ba。你ni將jiang贏ying得de對dui手shou的de尊zun重zhong。勇yong於yu認ren錯cuo也ye將jiang使shi人ren們men在zai你ni強qiang調tiao某mou一yi觀guan點dian時shi更geng容rong易yi相xiang信xin你ni是shi正zheng確que的de。當dang你ni犯fan錯cuo時shi


，刁diao難nan對dui手shou的de錯cuo誤wu不bu是shi一yi個ge好hao的de方fang法fa。雖sui然ran，你ni可ke以yi用yong鐵tie一yi般ban的de事shi實shi來lai證zheng明ming他ta也ye錯cuo了le
，但dan是shi這zhe樣yang做zuo的de後hou果guo隻zhi會hui得de到dao對dui手shou更geng強qiang烈lie的de反fan抗kang。

8.沉(chen)默(mo)是(shi)金(jin)。有(you)時(shi)，沉(chen)默(mo)是(shi)最(zui)有(you)效(xiao)的(de)方(fang)法(fa)。當(dang)你(ni)在(zai)做(zuo)出(chu)恰(qia)當(dang)有(you)力(li)的(de)論(lun)述(shu)之(zhi)後(hou)

，對(dui)手(shou)會(hui)想(xiang)通(tong)過(guo)咆(pao)哮(xiao)來(lai)擺(bai)脫(tuo)不(bu)利(li)局(ju)麵(mian)，這(zhe)時(shi)你(ni)就(jiu)可(ke)以(yi)使(shi)用(yong)此(ci)策(ce)略(lve)—在爭論的中途 停止說話
、baochichenmo，wushiduishoudeyanxing。nihuifaxiandangzhiyouyigerenzainapaoxiaodeshihou，zhenglunziranerrandejiujieshule。nideduishoukenengbuhuichengrenzijideshibai，dandangtazhuanshenliqude 時候，你將知道自己贏了。

9.光明正大。無論你對手多麼卑鄙，絕不要罵人、詛咒或是人身攻擊。對種族、風俗

、社會的汙蔑隻會反映你對爭論內容的不自信。就算對手汙言穢語你也應該保持冷靜。

10.別為爭論而爭論。   weixiangshouzhenglundekuaiganerzhenglunshizuichajindezuofa，ruguonishinazhongshenmedouxiangzhenglunderen
，nihuifaxiandangzhenzhengxuyaozhenglundeshihou，zijidechengxinyijingshoudaozhiyi。