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Not so long ago, the average American man in his 20s had achieved most of the milestones of adulthood: a high-school diploma, financial independence, marriage and children. Today, most men in their 20s hang out in a novel sort of limbo, a hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance. This 'pre-adulthood' has much to recommend it, especially for the college-educated. But it's time to state what has become obvious to legions of frustrated young women: It doesn't bring out the best in men.
'We are sick of hooking up with guys,' writes the comedian Julie Klausner, author of a touchingly funny 2010 book, 'I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters and Other Guys I've Dated.' What Ms. Klausner means by 'guys' is males who are not boys or men but something in between. 'Guys talk about 'Star Wars' like it's not a movie made for people half their age; a guy's idea of a perfect night is a hang around the PlayStation with his bandmates, or a trip to Vegas with his college friends.... They are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home.' One female reviewer of Ms. Kausner's book wrote, 'I had to stop several times while reading and think: Wait, did I date this same guy?'
For most of us, the cultural habitat of pre-adulthood no longer seems noteworthy. After all, popular culture has been crowded with pre-adults for almost two decades. Hollywood started the affair in the early 1990s with movies like 'Singles,' 'Reality Bites,' 'Single White Female' and 'Swingers.' Television soon deepened the relationship, giving us the agreeable company of Monica, Joey, Rachel and Ross; Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer; Carrie, Miranda, et al.
But for all its familiarity, pre-adulthood represents a momentous sociological development. It's no exaggeration to say that having large numbers of single young men and women living independently, while also having enough disposable income to avoid ever messing up their kitchens, is something entirely new in human experience. Yes, at other points in Western history young people have waited well into their 20s to marry, and yes, office girls and bachelor lawyers have been working and finding amusement in cities for more than a century. But their numbers and their money supply were always relatively small. Today's pre-adults are a different matter. They are a major demographic event.
What also makes pre-adulthood something new is its radical reversal of the sexual hierarchy. Among pre-adults, women are the first sex. They graduate from college in greater numbers (among Americans ages 25 to 34, 34% of women now have a bachelor's degree but just 27% of men), and they have higher GPAs. As most professors tell it, they also have more confidence and drive. These strengths carry women through their 20s, when they are more likely than men to be in grad school and making strides in the workplace. In a number of cities, they are even out-earning their brothers and boyfriends.
Still, for these women, one key question won't go away: Where have the good men gone? Their male peers often come across as aging frat boys, maladroit geeks or grubby slackers″a gender gap neatly crystallized by the director Judd Apatow in his hit 2007 movie 'Knocked Up.' The story's hero is 23-year-old Ben Stone (Seth Rogen), who has a drunken fling with Allison Scott (Katherine Heigl) and gets her pregnant. Ben lives in a Los Angeles crash pad with a group of grubby friends who spend their days playing videogames, smoking pot and unsuccessfully planning to launch a porn website. Allison, by contrast, is on her way up as a television reporter and lives in a neatly kept apartment with what appear to be clean sheets and towels. Once she decides to have the baby, she figures out what needs to be done and does it. Ben can only stumble his way toward being a responsible grownup.
So where did these pre-adults come from? You might assume that their appearance is a result of spoiled 24-year-olds trying to prolong the campus drinking and hook-up scene while exploiting the largesse of mom and dad. But the causes run deeper than that. Beginning in the 1980s, the economic advantage of higher education″the 'college premium'″began to increase dramatically. Between 1960 and 2000, the percentage of younger adults enrolled in college or graduate school more than doubled. In the 'knowledge economy,' good jobs go to those with degrees. And degrees take years.
Another factor in the lengthening of the road to adulthood is our increasingly labyrinthine labor market. The past decades' economic expansion and the digital revolution have transformed the high-end labor market into a fierce competition for the most stimulating, creative and glamorous jobs. Fields that attract ambitious young men and women often require years of moving between school and internships, between internships and jobs, laterally and horizontally between jobs, and between cities in the U.S. and abroad. The knowledge economy gives the educated young an unprecedented opportunity to think about work in personal terms. They are looking not just for jobs but for 'careers,' work in which they can exercise their talents and express their deepest passions. They expect their careers to give shape to their identity. For today's pre-adults, 'what you do' is almost synonymous with 'who you are,' and starting a family is seldom part of the picture.
Pre-adulthood can be compared to adolescence, an idea invented in the mid-20th century as American teenagers were herded away from the fields and the workplace and into that new institution, the high school. For a long time, the poor and recent immigrants were not part of adolescent life; they went straight to work, since their families couldn't afford the lost labor and income. But the country had grown rich enough to carve out space and time to create a more highly educated citizenry and work force. Teenagers quickly became a marketing and cultural phenomenon. They also earned their own psychological profile. One of the most influential of the psychologists of adolescence was Erik Erikson, who described the stage as a 'moratorium,' a limbo between childhood and adulthood characterized by role confusion, emotional turmoil and identity conflict.
Like adolescents in the 20th century, today's pre-adults have been wait-listed for adulthood. Marketers and culture creators help to promote pre-adulthood as a lifestyle. And like adolescence, pre-adulthood is a class-based social phenomenon, reserved for the relatively well-to-do. Those who don't get a four-year college degree are not in a position to compete for the more satisfying jobs of the knowledge economy.
But pre-adults differ in one major respect from adolescents. They write their own biographies, and they do it from scratch. Sociologists use the term 'life script' to describe a particular society's ordering of life's large events and stages. Though such scripts vary across cultures, the archetypal plot is deeply rooted in our biological nature. The invention of adolescence did not change the large Roman numerals of the American script. Adults continued to be those who took over the primary tasks of the economy and culture. For women, the central task usually involved the day-to-day rearing of the next generation; for men, it involved protecting and providing for their wives and children. If you followed the script, you became an adult, a temporary custodian of the social order until your own old age and demise.
Unlike adolescents, however, pre-adults don't know what is supposed to come next. For them, marriage and parenthood come in many forms, or can be skipped altogether. In 1970, just 16% of Americans ages 25 to 29 had never been married; today that's true of an astonishing 55% of the age group. In the U.S., the mean age at first marriage has been climbing toward 30 (a point past which it has already gone in much of Europe). It is no wonder that so many young Americans suffer through a 'quarter-life crisis,' a period of depression and worry over their future.
Given the rigors of contemporary career-building, pre-adults who do marry and start families do so later than ever before in human history. Husbands, wives and children are a drag on the footloose life required for the early career track and identity search. Pre-adulthood has also confounded the primordial search for a mate. It has delayed a stable sense of identity, dramatically expanded the pool of possible spouses, mystified courtship routines and helped to throw into doubt the very meaning of marriage. In 1970, to cite just one of many numbers proving the point, nearly seven in 10 25-year-olds were married; by 2000, only one-third had reached that milestone.
American men have been struggling with finding an acceptable adult identity since at least the mid-19th century. We often hear about the miseries of women confined to the domestic sphere once men began to work in offices and factories away from home. But it seems that men didn't much like the arrangement either. They balked at the stuffy propriety of the bourgeois parlor, as they did later at the banal activities of the suburban living room. They turned to hobbies and adventures, like hunting and fishing. At midcentury, fathers who at first had refused to put down the money to buy those newfangled televisions changed their minds when the networks began broadcasting boxing matches and baseball games. The arrival of Playboy in the 1950s seemed like the ultimate protest against male domestication; think of the refusal implied by the magazine's title alone.
In his disregard for domestic life, the playboy was prologue for today's pre-adult male. Unlike the playboy with his jazz and art-filled pad, however, our boy rebel is a creature of the animal house. In the 1990s, Maxim, the rude, lewd and hugely popular 'lad' magazine arrived from England. Its philosophy and tone were so juvenile, so entirely undomesticated, that it made Playboy look like Camus.
At the same time, young men were tuning in to cable channels like Comedy Central, the Cartoon Network and Spike, whose shows reflected the adolescent male preferences of its targeted male audiences. They watched movies with overgrown boy actors like Steve Carell, Luke and Owen Wilson, Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Will Farrell and Seth Rogen, cheering their awesome car crashes, fart jokes, breast and crotch shots, beer pong competitions and other frat-boy pranks. Americans had always struck foreigners as youthful, even childlike, in their energy and optimism. But this was too much.
What explains this puerile shallowness? I see it as an expression of our cultural uncertainty about the social role of men. It's been an almost universal rule of civilization that girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, but boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors and providers. Today, however, with women moving ahead in our advanced economy, husbands and fathers are now optional, and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles″fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity″are obsolete, even a little embarrassing.
Today's pre-adult male is like an actor in a drama in which he only knows what he shouldn't say. He has to compete in a fierce job market, but he can't act too bossy or self-confident. He should be sensitive but not paternalistic, smart but not cocky. To deepen his predicament, because he is single, his advisers and confidants are generally undomesticated guys just like him.
Single men have never been civilization's most responsible actors; they continue to be more troubled and less successful than men who deliberately choose to become husbands and fathers. So we can be disgusted if some of them continue to live in rooms decorated with 'Star Wars' posters and crushed beer cans and to treat women like disposable estrogen toys, but we shouldn't be surprised.
Relatively affluent, free of family responsibilities, and entertained by an array of media devoted to his every pleasure, the single young man can live in pig heaven″and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man. But these rational choices on the part of women only serve to legitimize men's attachment to the sand box. Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There's nothing they have to do.
They might as well just have another beer.
Adapted from 'Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys' by Kay S. Hymowitz, to be published by Basic Books on March 1. Copyright © by Kay S. Hymowitz. Printed by arrangement with Basic Books.
參考譯文：
沒多久之前，普通的美國男人在二十多歲的年紀就可以完成大多數成家立業的重要指標：取得高中學曆、實現經濟獨立、結jie婚hun生sheng子zi。今jin時shi今jin日ri，大da多duo數shu二er十shi多duo歲sui的de男nan人ren卻que陷xian身shen於yu一yi種zhong新xin奇qi的de過guo渡du狀zhuang態tai，其qi中zhong既ji有you負fu責ze任ren的de自zi立li精jing神shen，也ye摻chan雜za著zhe荷he爾er蒙meng作zuo用yong之zhi下xia的de青qing春chun期qi特te征zheng。這zhe種zhong“半成年”狀zhuang態tai有you許xu多duo可ke取qu之zhi處chu，對dui那na些xie受shou過guo大da學xue教jiao育yu的de人ren來lai說shuo尤you其qi如ru此ci。不bu過guo，事shi到dao如ru今jin，我wo們men必bi須xu正zheng視shi一yi個ge業ye已yi為wei眾zhong多duo沮ju喪sang失shi意yi的de年nian青qing女nv性xing所suo熟shu知zhi的de事shi實shi：這樣的狀態並不能帶來最好的男性特質。
喜劇作家茱莉•克勞斯納（Julie Klausner）曾於2010年出版過一本感人至深的有趣書籍：《你的樂隊我沒興趣：我約會過的獨立搖滾樂手、信托投資人、色情作者、罪犯、善於識別假貨的時尚人士以及其他一些傻冒帶給我的教訓》（I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters and Other Guys I've Dated）。她如是寫道：我們已經煩透了跟“傻冒”膩在一起的日子。克勞斯納所說的“傻冒”指的是這樣一些男性，他們既不是男孩，也不是男人，而是一種介於兩者之間的東西。一位女士在為克勞斯納著作所寫的書評中寫道：傻冒們成天談論《星球大戰》（Star Wars），完wan全quan沒mei意yi識shi到dao那na部bu電dian影ying隻zhi適shi合he年nian紀ji比bi他ta們men小xiao一yi半ban的de人ren。傻sha冒mao們men心xin目mu中zhong的de完wan美mei夜ye晚wan是shi跟gen自zi己ji樂le隊dui裏li的de人ren一yi起qi玩wan遊you戲xi機ji，或huo者zhe是shi跟gen大da學xue時shi代dai的de朋peng友you一yi起qi去qu拉la斯si維wei加jia斯si……他們更像是需要我們照料的小孩，卻不像開車送我們回家的父輩。讀這本書的時候，我不得不多次停下來思考：對啊，我以前不也跟這種人約會過嗎？
對(dui)我(wo)們(men)當(dang)中(zhong)的(de)大(da)多(duo)數(shu)人(ren)來(lai)說(shuo)，孳(zi)生(sheng)半(ban)成(cheng)年(nian)狀(zhuang)態(tai)的(de)文(wen)化(hua)生(sheng)境(jing)已(yi)經(jing)不(bu)再(zai)是(shi)什(shen)麼(me)引(yin)人(ren)注(zhu)目(mu)的(de)東(dong)西(xi)。說(shuo)到(dao)底(di)，將(jiang)近(jin)二(er)十(shi)年(nian)以(yi)來(lai)，流(liu)行(xing)文(wen)化(hua)當(dang)中(zhong)一(yi)直(zhi)都(dou)擠(ji)滿(man)了(le)各(ge)式(shi)各(ge)樣(yang)的(de)“半成人”。上世紀九十年代早期，好萊塢用《單身貴族》（Singles）、《四個畢業生》（Reality Bites）、《疊影狂花》（Single White Female）和《全職浪子》（Swingers）之類的電影為這股風氣開了先河。不久之後，電視也趕來推波助瀾，為我們提供了一係列可愛的半成人組合：莫妮卡（Monica）、喬伊（Joey）、瑞秋（Rachel）和羅斯（Ross）（《老友記》）；傑瑞（Jerry）、愛琳（Elaine）、喬治（George）和克拉默（Kramer）（《宋飛傳》）；以及卡莉（Carrie）、米蘭達（Miranda）（《欲望都市》），等等等等。
熟shu悉xi歸gui熟shu悉xi，半ban成cheng年nian狀zhuang態tai終zhong究jiu還hai是shi反fan映ying了le社she會hui的de一yi個ge重zhong大da進jin步bu。毫hao不bu誇kua張zhang地di說shuo，如ru今jin的de社she會hui上shang存cun在zai著zhe大da批pi獨du立li生sheng活huo的de單dan身shen男nan女nv，這zhe些xie男nan女nv又you擁yong有you足zu以yi讓rang自zi己ji免mian除chu下xia廚chu之zhi勞lao的de大da筆bi可ke支zhi配pei收shou入ru，這zhe是shi人ren類lei曆li史shi上shang從cong未wei有you過guo的de全quan新xin局ju麵mian。沒mei錯cuo，西xi方fang曆li史shi上shang以yi前qian也ye有you過guo年nian青qing人ren等deng到dao年nian近jin三san十shi才cai結jie婚hun的de時shi候hou；meicuo，bangongshinvlanghelvshidanshenhanzaojiuyijingkaishizaigegechengshilishangbanyule，zheyangdezhuangkuangyijingcunzailechaoguoyigeshiji。buguo，tamenderenshuhetamendeshourulaiyuanshizhongdouchuyuxiangduiyouxiandezhuangtai。jintiandebanchengrenqueheyiwangbutong，yijingzairenkoudangzhongzhandaoleyigehendadebili。
現(xian)今(jin)的(de)半(ban)成(cheng)年(nian)狀(zhuang)態(tai)還(hai)有(you)一(yi)個(ge)跟(gen)以(yi)往(wang)不(bu)同(tong)的(de)地(di)方(fang)，那(na)就(jiu)是(shi)它(ta)徹(che)底(di)顛(dian)覆(fu)了(le)傳(chuan)統(tong)的(de)性(xing)別(bie)等(deng)級(ji)。在(zai)半(ban)成(cheng)人(ren)當(dang)中(zhong)，居(ju)於(yu)主(zhu)導(dao)地(di)位(wei)的(de)性(xing)別(bie)是(shi)女(nv)性(xing)。她(ta)們(men)接(jie)受(shou)大(da)學(xue)教(jiao)育(yu)的(de)比(bi)例(li)比(bi)男(nan)性(xing)高(gao)（在25歲至34歲的美國人當中，34%的女性擁有學士學位，男性的這一比例則隻有27%），學習成績也比男性好。正如大多數教授所指出的那樣，她們還比男性更自信、更有幹勁。這些優勢會伴隨女性從20歲走到30歲sui，結jie果guo便bian是shi她ta們men比bi男nan性xing更geng有you機ji會hui繼ji續xu深shen造zao，也ye更geng有you機ji會hui得de到dao升sheng遷qian。更geng有you甚shen者zhe，在zai不bu少shao城cheng市shi當dang中zhong，她ta們men的de收shou入ru也ye超chao過guo了le自zi己ji的de兄xiong弟di和he男nan友you。
盡管如此，對這些女人來說，一個關鍵的問題卻始終揮之不去：好男人都上哪兒去了呢？她們的男性同齡人往往是些長不大的老學生、笨頭笨腦的怪物或者肮髒邋遢的懶鬼──這樣的性別鴻溝在導演賈德•阿帕圖（Judd Apatow）2007年的影片《好孕臨門》（Knocked Up）當中得到了完美的呈現。影片的男主角是23歲的本•斯通（Ben Stone），由塞斯•羅根（Seth Rogen）飾演。有一次喝醉酒之後，本和凱薩琳•海格爾（Katherine Heigl）飾演的愛麗森•斯科特（Allison Scott）shanglechuang，houzheyoucihuaiyun。benheyiqunqiongsuanlatadepengyouyiqizhuzailuoshanjideyigelinshijusuoli，meitianzhizhidaodayouxihexidama，xiangbangeseqingwangzhanyemeichenggong。yutaxiangfan，ailisenshiyigezhengzaicuanhongdedianshijizhe，zhudeshiyitaozhengjiedegongyu，wulidechuangdanhemaojinkanzheyetingganjing。juedingliuxiadulidehaizizhihou，tamashangzuohaolesuoyoudechouhua，suihoubianfuzhushishi。benquezhinengdiediezhuangzhuangdiyiluqianxing，nulibianchengyigeyousuodandangdechengnianren。
一場宿醉使尚未成熟的Ben Stone（塞斯•羅根(Seth Rogen)飾演）成為了一個孩子的父親，他決定一定要逐漸成長起來。
如此說來，這些半成人是從哪裏來的呢？你興許會以為，原因在於一些被人慣壞了的24歲sui青qing年nian拚pin命ming想xiang延yan續xu學xue生sheng時shi代dai喝he酒jiu泡pao妞niu的de生sheng活huo，方fang法fa是shi利li用yong娘niang老lao子zi的de慷kang慨kai。不bu過guo，真zhen實shi的de原yuan因yin並bing不bu是shi這zhe麼me簡jian單dan。從cong上shang世shi紀ji八ba十shi年nian代dai開kai始shi，高gao學xue曆li帶dai來lai的de經jing濟ji優you勢shi──也就是所謂的“大學紅利”──急劇提高。1960至2000年之間，年青人上大學或者讀研究生的比例翻了不止一番。在這個“知識經濟”的時代，好工作屬於那些有文憑的人。與此同時，拿文憑是一件很耗時間的事情。
另ling一yi個ge因yin素su也ye讓rang走zou向xiang成cheng年nian的de道dao路lu變bian得de更geng加jia漫man長chang，那na就jiu是shi越yue來lai越yue像xiang迷mi宮gong的de勞lao動dong力li市shi場chang。過guo去qu幾ji十shi年nian當dang中zhong，經jing濟ji擴kuo張zhang和he數shu碼ma革ge命ming已yi經jing把ba高gao端duan勞lao動dong力li市shi場chang變bian成cheng了le一yi個ge競jing爭zheng慘can烈lie的de地di方fang，競jing爭zheng的de目mu標biao都dou是shi些xie最zui刺ci激ji、最需要創意、最有派頭的工作。那些誘人的工作往往都需要誌向遠大的年青男女翻來覆去地折騰許多年，在學校和實習場所之間輾轉、在實習場所和工作地點之間輾轉、在zai不bu同tong工gong作zuo之zhi間jian橫heng向xiang或huo縱zong向xiang輾zhan轉zhuan，還hai可ke能neng在zai美mei國guo和he其qi他ta國guo家jia的de不bu同tong城cheng市shi之zhi間jian輾zhan轉zhuan。知zhi識shi經jing濟ji為wei受shou過guo良liang好hao教jiao育yu的de年nian青qing人ren提ti供gong了le一yi個ge前qian所suo未wei有you的de機ji會hui，讓rang他ta們men可ke以yi按an個ge人ren的de喜xi好hao來lai考kao慮lv工gong作zuo問wen題ti。他ta們men要yao的de不bu僅jin僅jin是shi工gong作zuo，而er是shi“事業”，要的是一個可以施展自身才幹、表達心底激情的崗位，還希望通過事業來塑造自我身份。對於今天的半成人來說，“你是做什麼的”幾乎可以跟“你是什麼人”劃等號，成家的事情卻很少會得到他們的重視。
半ban成cheng人ren階jie段duan跟gen青qing春chun期qi有you幾ji分fen相xiang似si，後hou者zhe是shi二er十shi世shi紀ji中zhong期qi才cai有you的de一yi個ge概gai念nian，那na時shi候hou，美mei國guo那na些xie十shi多duo歲sui的de少shao年nian被bei人ren從cong田tian野ye和he工gong廠chang裏li趕gan進jin了le一yi個ge新xin興xing的de機ji構gou──高gao中zhong。在zai很hen長chang一yi段duan時shi間jian之zhi內nei，窮qiong人ren和he新xin移yi民min都dou沒mei有you什shen麼me青qing春chun期qi生sheng活huo，因yin為wei他ta們men的de家jia庭ting承cheng擔dan不bu起qi勞lao動dong力li和he收shou入ru的de損sun失shi，他ta們men就jiu隻zhi好hao跳tiao過guo青qing春chun期qi、直(zhi)接(jie)走(zou)上(shang)工(gong)作(zuo)崗(gang)位(wei)。不(bu)過(guo)，美(mei)國(guo)漸(jian)漸(jian)地(di)富(fu)了(le)起(qi)來(lai)，由(you)此(ci)就(jiu)有(you)了(le)空(kong)間(jian)和(he)時(shi)間(jian)上(shang)的(de)餘(yu)裕(yu)，可(ke)以(yi)打(da)造(zao)教(jiao)育(yu)程(cheng)度(du)更(geng)高(gao)的(de)市(shi)民(min)階(jie)層(ceng)和(he)勞(lao)動(dong)力(li)大(da)軍(jun)。很(hen)快(kuai)，十(shi)幾(ji)歲(sui)的(de)少(shao)年(nian)就(jiu)成(cheng)了(le)一(yi)個(ge)商(shang)業(ye)上(shang)和(he)文(wen)化(hua)上(shang)的(de)明(ming)星(xing)群(qun)體(ti)，還(hai)獲(huo)得(de)了(le)一(yi)張(zhang)專(zhuan)屬(shu)於(yu)自(zi)己(ji)的(de)心(xin)理(li)分(fen)析(xi)報(bao)告(gao)。青(qing)春(chun)期(qi)心(xin)理(li)權(quan)威(wei)之(zhi)一(yi)埃(ai)裏(li)克(ke)•埃裏克森（Erik Erikson）將這個時期形容為一次“暫停”，亦即童年和成年之間的一個過渡時期，以角色混淆、情感混亂和身份衝突為特征。
genershishijideqingchunqishaonianyiyang，jintiandebanchengrenyezaidengdaichengnian。gelushangjiahewenhuarendouzaituibozhulan，zhizaibabanchengrenzhuangtaitishengdaoshenghuofangshidegaodu。ciwai，genqingchunqiyiyang，banchengrenjieduanyeshiyizhongcunzaijiejijichudeshehuixianxiang，zhishuyunaxiexiangduifuyuderen。zaizhegezhishijingjideshidai，meiyousiniandaxuewenpingderenshiwufaqiangdaozhongrenyanxiandegongzuode。
不過，半成人也跟青春期少年有一個重大的區別，那就是他們會為自己寫傳記，而且是從頭開始寫。社會學家們用“人生劇本”這(zhe)個(ge)術(shu)語(yu)來(lai)概(gai)括(kuo)某(mou)個(ge)特(te)定(ding)社(she)會(hui)為(wei)人(ren)生(sheng)大(da)事(shi)及(ji)人(ren)生(sheng)重(zhong)要(yao)舞(wu)台(tai)排(pai)出(chu)的(de)序(xu)列(lie)。這(zhe)樣(yang)的(de)劇(ju)本(ben)因(yin)文(wen)化(hua)而(er)異(yi)，基(ji)本(ben)的(de)情(qing)節(jie)卻(que)深(shen)植(zhi)於(yu)我(wo)們(men)的(de)生(sheng)物(wu)天(tian)性(xing)之(zhi)中(zhong)。青(qing)春(chun)期(qi)這(zhe)個(ge)概(gai)念(nian)的(de)發(fa)明(ming)並(bing)沒(mei)有(you)改(gai)寫(xie)美(mei)國(guo)式(shi)人(ren)生(sheng)劇(ju)本(ben)當(dang)中(zhong)的(de)主(zhu)要(yao)章(zhang)節(jie)。有(you)了(le)青(qing)春(chun)期(qi)以(yi)後(hou)，成(cheng)人(ren)這(zhe)個(ge)概(gai)念(nian)依(yi)然(ran)是(shi)指(zhi)那(na)個(ge)肩(jian)負(fu)大(da)部(bu)分(fen)經(jing)濟(ji)和(he)文(wen)化(hua)建(jian)設(she)任(ren)務(wu)的(de)群(qun)體(ti)。就(jiu)女(nv)人(ren)而(er)言(yan)，核(he)心(xin)任(ren)務(wu)通(tong)常(chang)是(shi)日(ri)複(fu)一(yi)日(ri)地(di)養(yang)育(yu)下(xia)一(yi)代(dai)；duinanrenlaishuo，hexinrenwuzeshiweiqiertigongbaohuheshenghuoziliao。anzhaozhegejubenyanxiaqu，nijiuhuibianchengyigechengren，zanshidanqiweichishehuizhixudezeren，zhidaoniburumunian、繼而撒手人寰為止。
可ke是shi，與yu青qing春chun期qi少shao年nian不bu同tong，半ban成cheng人ren並bing不bu知zhi道dao未wei來lai應ying該gai是shi什shen麼me模mo樣yang。對dui他ta們men來lai說shuo，婚hun姻yin和he父fu母mu之zhi責ze都dou可ke以yi表biao現xian為wei許xu多duo形xing式shi，完wan全quan省sheng略lve也ye不bu是shi問wen題ti。1970年，25歲到29歲的美國人當中隻有16%從來沒結過婚；到了今天，這個比例則是驚人卻真實的55%。在美國，第一次結婚的平均年齡日益向著30歲靠近（歐洲的許多地方已經突破了這一大關）。不足為奇的是，為數眾多的美國年青人都在經曆一場“四分之一人生危機”，沮喪不已地擔心著自己的未來。
在這個立業艱難的時代，各位半成人即便選擇了成家，成家的時間也是史無前例地晚。丈夫、qizihehaizidouhuiduiziyouzizaideshenghuoxingchengtuolei，erziyouzizaideshenghuoyoushizaoqizhiyefazhanheshenfentansuodebiyaotiaojian。chucizhiwai，banchengrenzhuangtaibenshenyeduixunzhaopeioudeyuanshihuodonggouchenglezhangai。tatuichilewendingdeziwoyishixingchengdeshijian，dafudutigaoleqianzaipeioudeshuliang，gaoluanleqiuaidechanggui，haizhuchanglerenmenduihunyinyiyidehuaiyi。xuduoshuzidoukeyizhengmingzheyidian，zhelizhijuqizhongyizu：1970年，25歲的人當中有將近十分之七處於已婚狀態；2000年，同年齡的人當中隻有三分之一實現了這個重要的人生目標。
最晚從十九世紀中期開始，美國男人就一直在奮力尋找一個可以接受的成人身份。我們總是聽人說，一旦男人踏出家門、開(kai)始(shi)在(zai)辦(ban)公(gong)室(shi)和(he)工(gong)廠(chang)裏(li)上(shang)班(ban)，女(nv)人(ren)就(jiu)被(bei)圈(quan)在(zai)了(le)家(jia)裏(li)，忍(ren)受(shou)各(ge)種(zhong)各(ge)樣(yang)的(de)痛(tong)苦(ku)。不(bu)過(guo)，真(zhen)相(xiang)似(si)乎(hu)是(shi)，男(nan)人(ren)也(ye)不(bu)怎(zen)麼(me)喜(xi)歡(huan)這(zhe)樣(yang)的(de)安(an)排(pai)。他(ta)們(men)對(dui)中(zhong)產(chan)階(jie)級(ji)生(sheng)活(huo)當(dang)中(zhong)的(de)種(zhong)種(zhong)乏(fa)味(wei)規(gui)矩(ju)避(bi)之(zhi)唯(wei)恐(kong)不(bu)及(ji)，後(hou)來(lai)又(you)對(dui)郊(jiao)區(qu)客(ke)廳(ting)裏(li)的(de)種(zhong)種(zhong)陳(chen)腐(fu)活(huo)動(dong)敬(jing)謝(xie)不(bu)敏(min)，於(yu)是(shi)就(jiu)轉(zhuan)向(xiang)打(da)獵(lie)釣(diao)魚(yu)之(zhi)類(lei)的(de)業(ye)餘(yu)愛(ai)好(hao)和(he)探(tan)險(xian)活(huo)動(dong)。到(dao)了(le)二(er)十(shi)世(shi)紀(ji)中(zhong)期(qi)，一(yi)些(xie)做(zuo)了(le)父(fu)親(qin)的(de)人(ren)先(xian)是(shi)拒(ju)絕(jue)花(hua)錢(qian)買(mai)電(dian)視(shi)這(zhe)種(zhong)新(xin)玩(wan)意(yi)兒(er)，後(hou)來(lai)又(you)改(gai)變(bian)了(le)主(zhu)意(yi)，原(yuan)因(yin)是(shi)電(dian)視(shi)裏(li)有(you)了(le)拳(quan)擊(ji)比(bi)賽(sai)和(he)棒(bang)球(qiu)比(bi)賽(sai)。《花花公子》（Playboy）雜誌於二十世紀五十年代問世，似乎是對男性馴化過程的一份終極抗議；想一想這本雜誌的名字，你就可以知道，男人是多麼不願意變成家養動物。
從拒絕家庭生活這方麵來說，這裏的“花花公子”就是今天那些半成人男性的先聲。不過，跟喜歡爵士樂和藝術的“花花公子”不同，我們這個時代的叛逆男孩屬於動物世界。二十世紀九十年代，粗俗下流、廣受歡迎的“男孩”雜誌《Maxim》從英國來到了美國。這本雜誌的理念和格調十分幼稚、十足野性，跟它比起來，《花花公子》簡直就像是加繆（Camus）的作品。
與《Maxim》的到來同時，年青男人紛紛轉向“喜劇中心”（Comedy Central）、“卡通網路”（Cartoon Network）和Spike之類的有線電視頻道。這些頻道以男性為目標受眾，由節目內容可知，受眾的口味都還停留在青春期。他們愛看斯蒂夫•卡瑞爾（Steve Carell）、盧克•威爾遜（Luke Wilson）、歐文•威爾遜（Owen Wilson）、金•凱利（Jim Carrey）、亞當•桑德勒（Adam Sandler）、威爾•法雷爾（Will Farrell）和塞斯•羅根等“老男孩”出演的電影，為他們那些妙不可言的汽車碰撞、下流笑話、胸(xiong)胯(kua)特(te)寫(xie)以(yi)及(ji)喝(he)啤(pi)酒(jiu)比(bi)賽(sai)之(zhi)類(lei)的(de)男(nan)童(tong)惡(e)作(zuo)劇(ju)而(er)歡(huan)呼(hu)。在(zai)以(yi)前(qian)，美(mei)國(guo)人(ren)的(de)活(huo)力(li)和(he)樂(le)天(tian)精(jing)神(shen)總(zong)是(shi)會(hui)給(gei)外(wai)國(guo)人(ren)留(liu)下(xia)朝(chao)氣(qi)蓬(peng)勃(bo)乃(nai)至(zhi)天(tian)真(zhen)幼(you)稚(zhi)的(de)印(yin)象(xiang)。不(bu)過(guo)，發(fa)展(zhan)到(dao)這(zhe)個(ge)地(di)步(bu)就(jiu)有(you)點(dian)兒(er)太(tai)過(guo)分(fen)了(le)。
這zhe樣yang的de幼you稚zhi和he淺qian薄bo該gai作zuo何he解jie釋shi呢ne？按an我wo看kan，它ta體ti現xian了le這zhe樣yang一yi個ge事shi實shi，那na就jiu是shi我wo們men的de文wen化hua沒mei有you為wei男nan性xing的de社she會hui角jiao色se提ti供gong一yi個ge明ming確que的de定ding義yi。幾ji乎hu普pu遍bian適shi用yong於yu所suo有you文wen明ming的de一yi條tiao規gui律lv是shi，女nv孩hai隻zhi需xu要yao生sheng理li成cheng熟shu就jiu可ke以yi變bian成cheng女nv人ren，男nan孩hai卻que要yao經jing曆li一yi番fan考kao驗yan才cai能neng變bian成cheng男nan人ren。他ta們men必bi須xu證zheng明ming自zi己ji的de勇yong氣qi和he體ti格ge，要yao不bu就jiu得de證zheng明ming自zi己ji已yi經jing掌zhang握wo了le一yi些xie必bi要yao的de技ji能neng，最zui終zhong目mu的de則ze是shi證zheng明ming自zi己ji有you能neng力li承cheng擔dan提ti供gong保bao護hu和he養yang家jia糊hu口kou的de責ze任ren。然ran而er，今jin時shi今jin日ri，女nv性xing正zheng在zai我wo們men的de發fa達da經jing濟ji之zhi中zhong高gao歌ge猛meng進jin，丈zhang夫fu和he父fu親qin就jiu成cheng了le可ke有you可ke無wu的de東dong西xi，曾zeng經jing為wei合he格ge男nan人ren所suo必bi需xu的de種zhong種zhong特te質zhi──堅韌、克製、勇敢、忠誠──也已經落後於時代，甚至還有點兒讓人尷尬。
如ru今jin的de半ban成cheng人ren男nan性xing就jiu像xiang是shi一yi出chu戲xi裏li的de一yi名ming演yan員yuan，但dan卻que不bu知zhi道dao台tai詞ci，隻zhi知zhi道dao什shen麼me東dong西xi不bu能neng說shuo。他ta必bi須xu在zai競jing爭zheng慘can烈lie的de市shi場chang上shang搏bo殺sha，但dan又you不bu能neng表biao現xian得de太tai專zhuan橫heng，也ye不bu能neng表biao現xian得de太tai自zi信xin。他ta應ying該gai體ti貼tie殷yin勤qin，同tong時shi又you不bu能neng羅luo裏li羅luo嗦suo，應ying該gai精jing明ming強qiang幹gan，同tong時shi又you不bu能neng驕jiao傲ao自zi大da。雪xue上shang加jia霜shuang的de是shi，身shen為wei一yi名ming單dan身shen漢han，他ta身shen邊bian的de顧gu問wen和he知zhi己ji通tong常chang都dou是shi些xie野ye性xing未wei馴xun的de家jia夥huo，跟gen他ta自zi己ji一yi模mo一yi樣yang。
單身漢從來都不是文明大戲當中最負責任的演員；跟那些主動承攬丈夫和父親角色的男人相比，他們依然是麻煩更多、成功更少的一群。所以呢，如果他們當中的一些人繼續在充斥著《星球大戰》海報和癟啤酒罐的屋子裏生活、繼續把女人當成一次性的雌激素玩具，我們可以感到厭惡，但卻不應該感到驚訝。
手頭相對寬裕、沒有家庭的負擔、又有一大堆媒介致力於滿足自己的所有欲望，年青的單身漢完全可以選擇在豬窩裏過活──他ta們men也ye經jing常chang這zhe麼me幹gan。女nv人ren可ke以yi忍ren他ta們men一yi段duan時shi間jian，之zhi後hou卻que會hui感gan到dao恐kong懼ju和he厭yan惡e，接jie下xia來lai要yao麼me徹che底di放fang棄qi擁yong有you丈zhang夫fu和he孩hai子zi的de希xi望wang，要yao麼me就jiu撇pie開kai這zhe些xie讓rang人ren頭tou痛tong的de男nan人ren、直接去問精子銀行要DNA。可(ke)是(shi)，女(nv)人(ren)做(zuo)出(chu)的(de)這(zhe)些(xie)理(li)性(xing)選(xuan)擇(ze)隻(zhi)會(hui)成(cheng)為(wei)男(nan)人(ren)沉(chen)迷(mi)於(yu)童(tong)稚(zhi)階(jie)段(duan)的(de)藉(ji)口(kou)。他(ta)們(men)幹(gan)嗎(ma)要(yao)長(chang)大(da)呢(ne)？反(fan)正(zheng)也(ye)沒(mei)人(ren)需(xu)要(yao)他(ta)們(men)。他(ta)們(men)用(yong)不(bu)著(zhe)采(cai)取(qu)任(ren)何(he)行(xing)動(dong)。
為什麼要長大？現在，二十多歲的男人有很多玩具和可以讓他們分心的東西，從電視遊戲和體育酒吧到“男孩”雜誌《Maxim》。。。
他們完全可以再來一罐啤酒。
──改編自凱•希莫維茨（Kay S. Hymowitz）的《重振雄風：女人的崛起如何將男人變成了男孩》（Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys），此書已由Basic Books出版社出版，出版日期是3月1日。
